


I Need You to Want to Hold Me and I Need You to Know This Without Me Having to Explain

by OnceUponADestiel (Jems_of_Grace)



Series: I Need You [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, bed sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 20:18:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4578522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jems_of_Grace/pseuds/OnceUponADestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's that classic trope - the motel only has one room left and the couch is too small to sleep on. How will Sam, Dean and Cas deal with the only two beds situation?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need You to Want to Hold Me and I Need You to Know This Without Me Having to Explain

Of course the motel only had one room left available and of course it was a room with two small queens and the shortest couch to ever couch.

Dean took one look at the sunken moth-eaten thing and turned to stare wide eyed at his brother. There was no way Dean would fit on that thing, let alone Sam.

Sam shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant fashion, 'I'll bunk with Cas, if you want. I don't mind. Be a bit of a squeeze but-'

'Fuck off!' Dean interrupted with a scowl.

Sam smirked.

'I don't mind taking the couch,' Cas said from behind him.

'No way,' Dean said furiously. 'Look at that thing! I don't want you even touching it. Prob'ly crawling with bugs and riddled with syphilis or something.'

'If you're worried about the couch, then god knows what you're going to say about the beds.' Sam said pulling back the sheets on one of them and wrinkling his nose in disgust. 'Seems clean enough... if a little, err... stained...'

'Okay, gross. Man we've slept in some holes over the years but this place takes the biscuit.' Cas squinted at him hopefully.

'We have biscuits? Where?' Dean blinked at his friend in disbelief.

'Uh... never mind, Cas. No biscuits... listen... you're gonna have to bunk with me tonight... if that's okay?' he finished nervously but Cas merely nods his head in a serious fashion as though to say,  _of course Dean, why wouldn't that be okay?_ and clambered into the second bed without preamble, kicking off his shoes and inspecting the sheets like Sam had done.

'Right... well, I'm just gonna go use the bathroom,' he said gesturing over his shoulder. Cas just nodded without so much as looking up. Sam already had his laptop on, evidently intent on some before bed research but he looked up at Dean, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively and glancing over at the other bed.

'Shut up,' he muttered, turning on his heel, taking his overnight bag with him into the bathroom.

It was pretty late and after one look at the grimy shower, Dean couldn't face the thought of anything more than a quick wash. He brushed his teeth, splashed his face and looked up at his wet reflection in the dirty mirror as he toweled his face dry.

 _Fuck_ , he was sharing a bed with Cas tonight. He stared at himself a little longer, panic clearly evident in his eyes. It was his own fault. He could have taken Sam up on his offer if he'd wanted to... if he wasn't so... possessive...

He started worrying about everything that could possibly go wrong. It really was quite a small queen after all and with so little space between them... what if Cas was a cuddler? What if he woke up in the morning with his arms wrapped around Cas? He'd fantasized about it often enough; would he really be capable of holding himself back in a semi-conscious state? What if he got a boner? What if Cas _noticed_? Would he say something? _Fuck, fuck, fuck..._ this was such a bad idea.

But he was exhausted; he'd been driving nearly all day. So he glanced one last time in the mirror and took a deep breath.

Dean walked back into the room, switching off the bathroom light behind him and plunging the room into almost complete darkness. Sam had switched off his laptop and was already snoring quietly into his pillow.

Dean made his way to the other bed. He could just see Cas's outline on the left hand side, his bare arm laying on top of the sheets, fine dark hairs raised slightly in the cool evening air. _Fuck,_ that meant he was at least partially naked. There was definitely going to be boners tonight.

Dean crawled into the other side as quietly as possible, pulling the sheets over him as best he could without disturbing him. Cas rolled over, obviously still awake. Dean chanced a glance at him from where he was lying on his back. Yeah, that was definitely a bare chest, he could see the dark spiral of chest hairs making their way down under the sheets. Dean wouldn't let his mind wonder any further, his brain was already drawing a blank. His breath catching slightly at the sight of all that bare skin.

Cas's eyes were closed but he bunched up the sheets between them, creating a sort of barrier. Dean barely noticed it at first, too busy staring at the ceiling and trying to keep his cock from getting too excited. Fuck's sake, he was lying half naked in bed with his at least half naked gorgeous best friend who he may have stopped denying being long in love with and it just wasn't fair 'cause he wanted to reach out and touch the guy so fucking bad.

He sighed, turning onto his side. He could do this. It wasn't a big deal really. Just one night.

Dean blinked, noticing for the first time how Cas had bunched the sheets between them, one hand grasped tightly to them to ensure they didn't unfold. Dean tried not to resent it but it was really fucking hard. He remembered worrying back in the bathroom about 'accidental' cuddles. The idea seemed laughable now. Cas wouldn't try to touch him. He obviously didn't want him anywhere near him.

It was ridiculous really; he'd been worried about this and Cas had just taken steps to ensure nothing would happen. He should be relieved. If Cas had done the opposite and actually tried to touch him, Dean would have doubtlessly shoved him away anyway and yet, here he was feeling all hurt about it...

Dean rolled over onto his other side, staring across the room. He could see the dark shape of his brother spread out peacefully on the other bed. Fuck, he'd asked for this. It was his own fault... and then he realized why; some shallowly hidden part of him had evidently been hoping that something _would_ happen. Yeah, he might have denied it on the surface but yeah... he'd definitely been a little bit excited at the prospect of sharing a bed with Cas. Under all those nerves there had been a flicker of hope that it could lead to something more...

But obviously Cas didn't feel the same. His actions proved that loud and clear and Dean should probably be glad he'd been let down this way rather than having had to face confessing to Cas how he really felt and then receiving a mortifying rejection. 

Either way, didn't stop it from hurting.

Cas didn't want him.

Dean closed his eyes, fighting back the hot wet pinpricks behind his eyes and desperately seeking out sleep so that he wouldn't have to think about it. Pushing himself into the darkest most nothing like places in his mind as he looked for unconsciousness.

But, in spite of his sheer exhaustion, his brain wasn't ready to shut down and a hundred day dreams drifted to the forefront of his mind in which Cas did want him and any second now he'd feel that bare arm snaking around his waist and pulling him closer. Wow, Dean wanted that so bad. He'd be able to relax back into his chest... maybe roll over and nuzzle at his neck...

'Shit.' Dean blinked himself back to reality, furious with himself. He couldn't have Cas. He would _never_ have Cas and if he was being completely honest with himself, he sure didn't _deserve_ Cas. And Cas probably knew that which is why he didn't want anything to do with him...

Dean's breaths were coming out short and fast now and he willed himself not to have a panic attack right here in this bed, lying next to his friend. He was blinking furiously, fighting back the tears threatening to fall. The realization that his love would forever remain unrequited was just a little too much to deal with right now.

He rolled back over onto his back, having successfully kept his tears at bay, staring up at the ceiling again.

Cas made a disgruntled kind of noise, apparently he was still awake. He rolled back over onto his other side, away from Dean. _Probably frustrated with me tossing and turning,_ Dean figured. But he was restless and on top of everything, his back was aching and he ended up shifting over onto his stomach, his head resting sideways on his pillow so that he was staring at the back of Cas's dark head. He realized that when Cas turned over, the bunched up sheets had evened out and Dean could see half of Cas's bare back before it disappeared under the covers. He was  _so_ close. Barely more than an inch from where Dean's hand lay on the sheets between them. If he just spread out his fingers and moved his hand a nudge or two to the right... he could accidentally graze Cas's back with his knuckles. 

Cas made a soft murmuring sound and Dean quickly withdrew his hand feeling disgusted with himself.

He turned his head to face the other way, breathing heavily as he placed his hands firmly underneath his pillow. He arched his back slightly, damn it was aching so bad. 

He heard the mattress creak beneath him again as Cas turned back over so that he was facing Dean again. 'Can't get comfy,' he muttered.

Dean turned his head to look at his friend. Cas's eyes were open now, blinking owlishly at him in the dark.

'Yeah, I- I noticed... um, me neither,' he said, speaking low so as not to disturb Sam. Cas had bunched the sheets up between them again. Dean blinked, feeling like Cas was stamping on his already broken heart. He rolled back onto his side again, not able to look at him anymore. He couldn't close his eyes, they were stinging too bad and his whole face was feeling pretty wet and his breaths were coming out pretty sharp and uneven again...

Fuck, he couldn't _do_ this, he couldn't lie in bed with him. He was just lying right there, all cold and unresponsive... it was killing him. He had half a mind to get up and the only thing stopping him was how unbearably tired he felt. He closed his eyes thinking he would never fall asleep. 

God, what he would give right now for Cas to hold him. For him to wrap him up in his arms. Dean was sure he could fall asleep like that with Cas's warm body enveloping him. He smiled sadly to himself as he heard Cas's breathing even out, finally slipping into sleep. Dean listened and then felt himself begin to drift at last...

 

He couldn't have been asleep long because when he opened his eyes again, it was still dark. Sam's snoring had kicked up a notch or two and Cas was rolling around next to him, mumbling discontentedly. Dean turned back round to face him.

'You 'kay?'

'No,' Cas answered grumpily. 'With the sheets  _on_ I'm too hot and with the sheets  _off_ I'm too cold. It doesn't even make any sense.' Dean blinked realizing for the first time that Cas had pulled the sheets away from both of them and they were both just lying there, almost completely naked, neither of them wearing anything but a pair of boxers each. _  
_

'Yeah, I... I know what you mean,' he said, his brain practically turning to jelly at the image. He couldn't tear his eyes away from that long stretch of bare skin. Suddenly, annoyingly, he felt wide awake again and pretty hot all over. 

Dean closed his eyes, determined to stop himself from looking, reminding himself that Cas didn't want him like that. They were just friends and that would have to be enough. 

He felt Cas shifting on the bed next to him and then his whole body locked stiff with fright as he felt Cas melting into him and it was better than Dean had imagined... He rested his chin on the top of Dean's head and Dean could breathe in the scent of him right there beneath his nose. 

There was absolutely no space between them now. Cas's arm cradled Dean against him. One of his legs was bent at the knee, his thigh resting over Dean's hip so that their crotches lined up perfectly with each other... 

He could barely breathe but denying that he hadn't been wanting this _all night_ was completely beyond him and he let himself snuggle closer into Cas's neck, breathing in all the Cas-like scents, loving the feel of those chest hairs tickling against his own almost completely hairless chest and thinking that he could never actually get close enough. He could bury himself in Cas, devour every inch of him (and boy was that a thought for another day) and he would still never stop wanting more of him.

Cas slipped quickly back into sleep again, evidently not having anything overtly sexual on his mind which was perfectly fine by Dean, even if he was having trouble keeping his own thoughts anything under r rated. Cas's breaths evened out again and Dean sighed contentedly against him as he felt himself begin to drift back off. 

 

Of course, when Sam woke up and found them like that the next morning; sheets thrown to the floor, legs tangled together and pressed up as close as humanly possible, he just rolled his eyes, switched on his laptop and got straight to research. 

Sam acted as though nothing unusual had happened a few hours later, when Dean and Cas finally woke up. As though he was used to seeing his brother and his best friend snuggling up together. 

'Mornin'' he said as the two men started stretching and yawning together. 'Think I've got everything we need for the case.'

Dean blinked the sleep from his eyes, the feel of Cas's warm chest beneath his face, the steady beat of his heart in his ear. 

Wait- Cas's chest?!

He started drawing back, wide eyed but Cas pulled him in closer, not quite ready to wake up yet.

'Cas!' he said irritably, trying to pull back again and feeling his face heat up realising Sam would have seen them all locked together like this. He tried to disentangle his legs but Cas clamped his legs down around him, keeping him still. Two seconds later Cas's eyes shot open. Wide blue irises staring at him in surprise. 

'Shit.' Dean said, realising straight away what had startled his friend. He could feel his boner rocking between them, pressing up against the inside of Cas's leg. 'Uh,' he started wondering what excuse he could make 'cause there was no way Cas hadn't noticed that.

Before he could think of anything intelligible, Cas wriggled against him and Dean gasped. The outline of Cas's own morning wood, jolting against his leg.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck-' he said, staring wide eyed at his friend. Was this seriously happening? _This couldn't seriously be happening!_ Cas raised his eyebrows and gave a mini thrust straight against Dean's crotch. 

Dean saw stars for a second. 'Shit,' he said again. 

'Okay, you two are gross. I mean, I'm _right_ here!' Sam said getting up off his own bed. 'I'm gonna go get breakfast. Try to be done for when I get back. I've been scarred enough for one morning and I really don't want to see anymore,' he said sounding disgruntled. Dean didn't say anything. He didn't think he could if he wanted to. Sam muttered something that sounded like, 'Even worse than the staring,' before closing the door firmly behind him.

'Cas?' he said, still looking at his friend. 

'Hmm?' he asked, rolling away from Dean and onto his back as he stretched out across the bed, not looking away from Dean for even a second. Dean stared at him, watching the way he arched his back slightly and the way his cock was clearly visible through his navy boxers and realized somewhere in the back of his head that Cas knew exactly what he was doing. 

'Fuck it,' Dean mumbled before clambering back on top of Cas and straddling his hips with his thighs. He stared down at Cas in awe, taking in every glorious inch of him and was well aware of Cas doing the same to him. Their eyes locked together and Dean couldn't believe he was being allowed to do this, that Cas wasn't even slightly objecting. 

He leaned closer in towards Cas's face but stopped as their noses came into contact, just hanging over him, breathing heavily, so filled up with want but still absolutely terrified that a rejection was still imminent. 

And then Cas lifted his head slightly, catching Dean's lips with his own. Dean kissed back enthusiastically, barely keeping up with him but thinking he could definitely get used to waking up like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so even though I've used a pretty much classic trope that nearly everyone has probably read at least six of, this oneshot is actually pretty personal to me. Really hope you liked it and please, please, please leave me a comment. Those things always make my day.
> 
> Thanks for reading, come look at my blog: [Once Upon A Destiel](http://onceuponadestiel.tumblr.com)


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